POOL PISHIN

Research carried out by Belgian Scientists has shown that children weeing in indoor public swimming pools may be to blame for the sixfold increase in child asthma cases and fourfold increase in adult asthma cases in the past 25 years.

The chlorine used to disinfect the water reacts with urine and sweat and produces a gas, nitrogen trichloride, which damages the lungs and makes those people exposed to it more vulnerable to the allergens which spark asthma.

This finding raises many questions. It also, however, answers one big question that FirstFoot has pondered for some time, namely, what exactly do Belgian scientists do?

Now we know. All this time we've been taking the piss out of them, they've been quietly taking the piss out of swimming pools.