Renfrew Macludge MSP, ex-convener of the Auchenshoogle Refuse Collection Committee and present New-SDNP spokesman on Genital Hygiene, is one the Scottish parliament's most colourful and outspoken characters.

Often found holding court in Madame le Fifi's Gentlemens Club and Massage Parlour, Renfrew issues regular press releases that are ignored by the mainstream press, but frequently find their way onto the pages of FirstFoot.

This MSP has opinions on diverse matters such as Cocaine in the Scottish Parliament, al fresco shagging in Greece, the road map to peace, Scottish children urinating in swimming pools, the cost of the Scottish Parliament, Weapons of Mass Destruction, saunas and massage parlours in Edinburgh, lap dancing in Glasgow, Scotland's dope cafe and who killed Kennedy.

An erudite scholar and shrewd observer of fellow man, Renfrew is clearly destined for greatness. Possibly even the top job.