PRINCE HARRY POTHEAD

Shock, horror, probe! Prince Harry, third in line to the British throne, has owned up (but only after being caught) to smoking pot and drinking alcohol to excess at the age of 16.

A rampant UK press has siezed the opportunity to savage the poor lad publicly for doing exactly what virtually every other 16 year old in the country does on a regular basis, embracing the story as yet another example of the ongoing dysfunctionality of the Windsor Family and the moral decline of a crumbling monarchy.

Harry, it was also reported, was barred from his local pub, The Rattlebone Inn in Sherston, after allegedly calling the French chef there "a fucking frog". So at least his Grandad, Prince Philip will be proud of him.

At the beginning of her Golden Jubilee Year, this was not the kind of PR Her Maj was hoping for.