REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL

A survey conducted by cake makers Mr.Kipling for the Comic Relief Appeal, to find out which was Britain's most cheerful city appears to have confirmed what Glasgow folk have long maintained - namely, that Edinburgh people are a bunch of miserable bastards.

In the survey of 14 cities, Edinburgh came last, with Glasgow coming second top behind Bristol.

For those who give a toss, the full table of results is reproduced at the foot of the page.

The methodology used was less than scientific, however. Researchers were employed to smile at 100 complete strangers in the street and for every smile they received back in return, a point was awarded.

Just 4 out of every 100 people smiled at in Edinburgh, smiled back. In Glasgow, the score was 68.

Unsurprisingly, the burghers of Edinburgh are not amused by these findings. But then, somehow, we kind of knew that might be the case.

"THE SMILES PER HOUR CENSUS"

The scores represent the number of smiles returned for every 100 people smiled at.