Renfrew prepares carefully for debate in the Parly

Renfrew MacLudge, as an ex-convener of the Auchenshoogle Refuse Collection Committee and present New-SDNP spokesman on Genital Hygiene, can become quite animated if the topic is appropriate to the interests of his constituents or his wallet.

A rare medical condition requiring ongoing attention means that Renfrew has a  gold card membership of Madame Lefifi's Executive Sauna and Massage Club.

When Renfrew is fit enough to leave the treatment table, he holds regular press and constituency meetings in the  Auld Keech, a rather downmarket hostelry frequented by journalists and staff members from Madame Lefifi's.

Your correspondent has got to know Renfrew rather well and will post regular insights into the wit and wisdom of this unique man.