A compelling new game ?

This game is so complex, so exciting, so compelling ................ so utterly shite. The inventor was a Glasgow chap who may have a serious "grip on reality" problem. FirstFoot quotes verbatim from the inventor's patent:

"A game for grabbing a playing marker before an opponent does to score a point. The game includes a playing mat with a pair of end edges and a pair of side edges. The playing mat also has a center point and a pair of base lines extending between the side edges of the playing mat. The center point is interposed between the base lines. Each of the base lines defines a base region extending from the respective base line and an adjacent associated end edge of the playing mat resting the playing mat. A marker piece is positioned on the center point of the playing mat. A first player places a hand on the playing mat in a first of the base regions and a second player places a hand on the playing mat in a second of the base regions. After a start command is issued the first and second players grab for the marker piece with the player grabbing the marker piece scoring a point."

To summarise:

Each player stands at an end of the mat. Someone shouts "go" and the first person to grab the object in the centre of the mat is the winner.

A worldbeater. Not.