Here are some resolutions you may wish to
consider, or not, as the case may be:
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Give up smoking
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Drink less
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Stop fucking the neighbours cat
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Lose weight
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Exercise more
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Save more
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Stop selling crack cocaine
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Stop snorting cocaine in the bathroom
at work
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Take a year out to travel round the world
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Not to fart in front of the mother-in-law
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Not to piss in the sink (in front of the
mother-in-law)
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Turn the stereo volume down to less than
full-on-fuck-off-live-concert-front-row, before the police
arrive
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Stop cutting the brake pipes on the boss's
car
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Stop making full-length of the car, gouged
scratches, on new Mercedes
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Stop using disabled parking slots. Mother
and children parking is usually just as close.
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Stop writing 7 paragraph letters to customers
where the first letter in each paragraph spells out "fuck
off".
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Stop sending e-mails at 4-o-clock in the
morning when you're pissed. Those guys at MI5 have no sense
of humour
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Stop sending postcards from Osama Bin
Laden to "All at Twin Towers". It's not funny
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