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Hogmanay
in Edinburgh. See all those people? They're all pissed. |
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Hogmanay is when Scotland gets pissed,
rat-arsed, stoshous, miraculous, drunk, guttered, slaughtered,
legless.
Call it what you will. It all ends up in
the same place. Millions of drunks intent on one thing ……..
having a good time.
Plenty of miserable old buggers will complain
that Hogmanay isn't what it used to be. Bollocks. It used to be
about over-indulging and having a sense of goodwill to one and
all and it still is.
Whereas our English friends over the border
have a single public holiday on January 1st, we need 2 days. This
is in order to accommodate the timetable for the festivities:
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December 31st
Hogmanay
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Start drinking at any time, but try to remain vertical
until midnight.
After the bells toll for midnight, you can talk total shite
to strangers, visit and annoy neighbours, kiss as many members
of the opposite sex that you can, shake hands with your
worst enemies and keep drinking until you fall over in a
stupor.
Which you usually do.
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January 1st
New Years Day
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Wake up and feel fucking awful. Orientate. Are you at home,
in a complete stranger's house, in a bus shelter or in prison?
As long as it's not the last location, then it's time to
start working on that hangover. No doubt there will be organised
family or friends events to attend, but that's no reason
to be sober. Find the nearest supply of booze and start
drinking again.
Making it through to midnight is not mandatory, so you
don't have to pace yourself. In fact, starting early, getting
drunk quickly and going for a wee afternoon sleep-it-off
before starting again, is seen by many as the ideal strategy.
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| January
2nd |
Usually your body is getting
used to overdosing on alcohol so the hangover isn't so bad.
All the more reason to have another drink. |
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| January
3rd |
Wake up with a hangover
and go to work. Only another 362 days to go. |
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