Not an ideal FirstFoot. Short, blonde, female and in possession of ugly ideals.

Nobody seems quite sure where or when "First Footing" became part of Scottish Hogmanay tradition, but it's still practiced today in many homes up and down the country.

If you're blonde or female though, forget it. You'll be as welcome as a dose of herpes at a naturists convention if you turn up on a traditionalist's doorstep at a minute after the bells, even if you've got the carry-out of the century tucked under your arm.

The "First Foot" is the first person to set foot over the threshold after midnight and should arrive bearing the three gifts of a measure of whisky, a lump of coal and a slice of bread or meat.

Symbolising good fortune to come inthe form of warmth, drink and food aplenty for the following year, your "First Foot" must be tall, dark, handsome and preferably young in order to have the desired effect.

In years gone by many quick-witted young men who matched this ideal description would hire themselves out as first-footers but sadly for them, this enterprising custom has ended now that most folk don't give a monkey's who turns up after midnight, as long as it isn't the police or the neighbour from hell, and they've brought drink.

Bugger the bread and the coal.