Me and Rabbie, we're from the same stock and well, yes, you never know, you just might be.

Ya wee sleekit cowerin' timerous beastie! Dream on.

In Scottish, "burns" means "streams". So, big bloody deal. Ye're no even a full river.

In time, somewhere between the 5th and 21st century, the Scots tongue became so lazy that "Burn" became "Brown" because it was marginally easier to say, especially after several drams and a damn good whipping from the feudal landlord.

Face it Burns'. You are Brown. See also "Broon/Brown" clan section.

Famous Burns include;

Robert Burns Poet and complete bard
Tommy Burns Crap Celtic Manager but all round Christian speccy nice guy
Major Frank Burns The nerdy fall-guy character in MASH
BannockBurn A small stream near Stirling where a famous battle apparently once took place
Nicki Lauda An unfortunate racing-car driver but now a multi-millionaire with his own fleet of aircraft so don't feel too sorry for him
Bairns The rather sad but often appropriate nickname for the Falkirk football team, but which sounds just like "Burns" if spoken in a Scouse accent.