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Muchobelli
- Europe's fattest player
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Furious Fourth Lanark supporters are demanding
to know why the transfer of fans' favourite, Francisco Muchobelli,
was only revealed when the SFA announced the contents of its forthcoming
publication, The Pre-Season Transfer Activity Guidebook.
Muchobelli, who was last season's top scorer
with three goals, has been the subject of feverish interest from
managers and heart surgeons across Europe.
Manager PR Lunatico who is understood to be on
a scouting mission in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, was not available for
comment last night. Chairman Archie Bauld is still in hiding from
the taxman, the auditors, the press, his ex-wife and the fans.
FirstFoot has obtained a pre--publication copy
which we happily reproduce here:
|
Player
|
Selling Club
|
Buying Club
|
Fee
|
| Francisco Muchobelli |
Fourth Lanark
|
Rangers
|
30 pence
|
| National Heritage |
Edinburgh
|
Inverness
|
£ 40m
|
| Jimmy McSneddon |
Hearts
|
Morton
|
Free
|
| Frederico Aberoni |
AC Tratattori
|
Rangers
|
£ 2.3m
|
| Henry McLeish |
Holyrood Disunited
|
Obscurity
|
£50k annual pension
|
| Tom McFee |
Hibs
|
Cowdenbeath
|
25 pence
|
| Andy Roberston |
Alloa Athletic
|
Falkirk
|
2 Bacon rolls
|
| Gordon Broon |
No. 11
|
No. 10
|
Crocodile tears
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|
Toni Blairiski
|
No.10
|
Broadmoor
|
Free
|
| Hughie Dunbar |
Caley Thistle
|
Livingston
|
2 tins of Irn Bru
|
| Henqie Bruckner |
Dortmund
|
Celtic
|
£ 6.5m
|
| Stanislav Kradisnke |
Ledz Warsaw
|
Celtic
|
£ 4.7 m
|
| Bendy Alexander |
Labour
|
Academia
|
A bucket of bile
|
| Erchie McFadden |
Queen of the South
|
Brechin
|
2 porno mags
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| Billy Hughes |
Kilmarnock
|
Clyde
|
2 bottles of Buckie
|
| Willie Anderson |
Motherwell
|
Airdrie United
|
A pack of 3
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