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| We say "No, to Methadone"
says an angry P R Lunatico |
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P R Lunatico confirmed this morning that he will
not send his squad to Fife for the forthcoming fixture against Methadone
Thistle.
The last time the club traveled to the picturesque
town of Methil on the Fife coast, there were reports of intimidation
of supporters, theft of fish suppers after the game and one supporter,
who had left home to go to the corner shop, was last recorded in
South America.
"Eet is not in ze interest of zis club that
we expose our players to zis kind of atmosphere" explained
Lunatico. "Ze players are artists, zey are sensitive people.
Zey say to me that there is nasty people in Methil. Zey will not
play nasty people."
A anonymous spokesman for the SFA, Jim Farry,
has gone on record as saying that if Fourth do not travel they will
be demoted from the Third Division to the South Ayrshire Blood and
Snotters league sponsored by McPhee, the best Butchers in Girvan.
"There is no option, choice, alternative
or other thing" said Farry. "It's in the rules. These
rules are laid down and written in big words and govern, command
and control all aspects, domains and conditions of the game of football
and soccer in Scotland. This in effect and consequence means, "dae
whit yer telt"".
Lunatico confirmed that the club have appealled
to , the Heid Bummer of Scotland
who, as an ex-East Fife player, is intimately acquainted with the
perils of Methil.
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