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| P. R. Lunatico arrives at the Dirtiest
Club in Europe awards dinner. |
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Newly promoted Fourth Lanark got an unexpected
result from their recently finished season, with the announcement
that having been found the "dirtiest club in Europe", firmly rooted
at the bottom of the "Fair Play League" by a distance of several
dozen red cards, four major assault trials and a murder enquiry,
UEFA have decided to reward their joyous, unadulterated season of
violence with a well-deserved chance of European glory.
The team have been invited to take part in the
first qualification round of the Inter-Jokey Cup.
It's likely that Fourth will come across some
obscure Estonian outfit nobody's ever heard of, before crashing
out in the second qualifying round to a bunch of Albanian second-raters
who eventually lose to a team from the back of beyond of Belarus
that goes on to not even qualify for the first qualifying round
of the UEFA Cup.
But hey, that's European football, so good luck
to them.
Manager PR Lunatico, speaking from the team's
Summer training camp in Las Vegas, was delighted with the news and
stated that he was "looking forward to, 'ow you say in Scotland,
"getting intae thae foreign bastards".
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