In Scotland, a foreigner is somebody who lives more than 5 miles away from you.

Parochial. That's us. We invented the word. "Paroch" from the Gaelic to "insert your head up your rectum", and "ial", an old Norse word meaning "and see if you can fit your torso up there too".

Our "Foreign Correspondents" are contributors to this site drawn from our beloved, but mostly insane, readership. From Whitburn to Washington, from Melbourne to Millport.

What they have in common, apart from being well kent regulars in the mental asylum that also doubles as our Discussion Forum, is that they think they are funny enough to write articles for FirstFoot.

And so do we.

Alright, it's a pretty low barrier to entry. But then "low" has always been the favoured level of this site.

Long may it last.