Reporter:
.

Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?

Strachan:

I don’t care, I’m Scottish

Reporter:

Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?

Strachan:

You’re spot on! You can read me like a book.

Reporter:

Are you getting where you want to be with this team?

Strachan:

We’re not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don’t know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter:

“Gordon, can we have a quick word please?”

Strachan:

“Velocity” [walks off]

Reporter:

Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?

Strachan:

No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, “No, I think they should have got George Graham because I’m useless.”

Reporter:

Is that your best start to a season?

Strachan:

Well I’ve still got a job so it’s far better than the Coventry one, that’s for sure.

Reporter:

Gordon, Agustin Delgado?

Strachan:

I’ve got more important things to think about. I’ve got a yoghurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter:

This might sound like a daft question, but you’ll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won’t you?

Strachan:

You’re right. It is a daft question. I’m not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you’re spot on there.

Reporter:

Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?

Strachan:

No, I’m just going to crumble like a wreck. I’ll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter:

There’s no negative vibes or negative feelings here?

Strachan:

Apart from yourself, we’re all quite positive round here. I’m going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter:

Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?

Strachan:

Not telling you! It’s a secret.

Reporter:

You don’t take losing lightly, do you Gordon?

Strachan:

I don’t take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter:

So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?

Strachan:

What areas? Mainly that big green one out there…