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| World
Cup 2002 Qualifiers |
| Scotland |
0 |
0 |
Croatia |
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| Belgium |
2 |
0 |
Scotland |
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As Gran'Paw Broon used to say
(much tae Gran'Maw Broon's annoyance) whenever he lost at
the Bowls, "Och buggerin' bastard bums and jobbies!"
In a week that also saw thae English
buggers beat the Germans 5-1, ah canny deny, ah'm feeling
sick as the proverbial parrot, that's already died of Aids.
Barring a miracle, that's me ootay a job more than likely.
However, instead o' being despondent
aboot no' going tae the World Cup Finals in Japan, ah would
like tae pick oot some of the positive aspects;
| 1 |
The
Food is Shite. Raw fish fer £20 a pop? Do me a favour.
And that's withoot chips! |
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| 2 |
It's
an awfy long way tae go. Japan is as far away as you
can get, without going into outer space. Air Fares are
extortionately expensive and the length of journey is
very likely to cause DVT amongst fat, beer-swilling,
deep-fried Mars Bar munchin' Jocks wi' suspect arteries.
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| 3 |
Everything
oot there is expensive. Beer. Whisky. Accommodation.
Call-Girls. Enemas. It's all way too much if you're
not on SFA expenses. |
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| 4 |
The
birds are tiny. Honest. A typical Jock wid split one
of thae Geisha's in half, so he would. |
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| 5 |
We
can all laugh at England in the comfort of our own homes
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While the World Champions Elect
get stuffed and their "fans" discover all of the above and,
here's the laugh, Oriental policing methods, we'll all be
sitting nice and cosy wi' oor tinnies of McEwans and Haggis
suppers.
In conclusion, just think o' the
time, money and trouble ah've saved the Tartan Army! Ah
should be bloody well sainted!
Ma biggest worry is whether or
no' thae FirstFoot buggers'll want tae keep ma Diary page
going if I get my jotters frae the SFA beaks after this.
Ah'm bloody shitin' maself aboot
that one.
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