Paw Broon - It's all doon the hill fae here

Another 4 points under the belt to keep us top o' the group, England gubbed at home by oor German allies and held tae a draw by the mighty Finns. Things just dinnae get much better than this.

Ah knew big Mattie Elliott wid dae the trick at centre forward eventually, even if it wiz against a team of bus drivers, accountants and restaurant waiters, and even if he wiz meant tae be at centre-half at the time.

Croatia wiz oor biggest test yet, especially with half the team either injured or skiving off tae have babies, but we came through it nae bother and could even have sneaked a winner if Don Hutchison hadnae put his boots on the wrong way round at half-time.

So, get yer Japanese phrasebooks oot lads, the Jocks are on their way. Ah've already started learning some of the slanty-eyed lingo in anticipation. Here's a couple of wurdz tae get ye started.

Sushi		Whit the nips eat. It's raw fish. It tastes like shite, even with lashings of brown sauce on it, and it'll gie you the runs for sure. No a patch on mince pies.

Sake		Whit the nips drink. It's rice-wine and tastes like warm anti-freeze. Take plenty of McEwans Export with you instead. I certainly will.

Sayonara		Japanese for goodbye. As in "Sayonara, Mr Keegan."

Oor next qualifying game's no until March when we take on the Belgie's at Hampden. 3 points frae that one and wir well on oor way. Just one thing bothers me. Where the buggery is Japan anyway?

Paw Broon