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  December 2001
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 
World Cup 2002
       

Ach weel, that's it fer anither 4 years. It's been a rare World Cup though and ye canny argue that the samba boyz were worthy winners, unless o' course ye're English.

And wan good thing tae come ootay it all is that Scotland's defeat tae South Korea afore the finals began disnae look quite so bad now, eh?

There's been many highlights, but here's jist a few that stand oot in ma mind.

Best Own Goal of the World Cup    

The award fer best own goal undoubtedly huz tae go tae the numpty at ITV who thought Paul Gascoigne wid make a good football pundit.

Gazza wiz nothing short ay embarrassin to watch.

Incoherent and incomprehensible, he looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights ay a speeding juggernaut fer maist ay the time.

His "expert comments" included such pearls ay tactical footballing wisdom as "the lads joost need tae gan oot there an get rite stuck in aboot them, like."

Paul should stick tae whit he's good at - if there's ever a World Cup fer Wife-Beating or Alcoholism, ah'm sure he wid make a top class pundit.

  Best Own Goal of the World Cup
     
Best Goal of the World Cup    
Nae contest. Ronaldhino's winner against England will live long in the memory.   Best Goal of the World Cup
     
Best Moment of the World Cup    

Nae contest again. Ronaldhino's winner against England will live long in the memory.

And another excuse tae see Seaman greetin'.

  Best Moment of the World Cup
     
Worst Moment of the World Cup    

The final whistle at the end ay England V Argentina wiz a right sickener fer me.

So here's another wee picture of the best diver in the competition.

  Worst Moment of the World Cup
     
Best totty of the World Cup    

No satisfied wi huvving the best fitba team, they Brazilian's urr World Champions when it comes tae near-naked floozies wi wobbly bits that jiggle up an doon.

Woof!

  Best totty of the World Cup
     
The Davie Dodds Award for ugliest player of the tournament

It's that boy Ronaldinho again. A barry wee player, but whit a fizzog he's goat oan him!

The kinday boat-race that wid curdle cream at 50 paces. Mind, it obviously disnae haud him back.

Accordin tae yon lapdancer in Paris whae spilt the beans oan him, he's got a tool like a jack-hammer, the dirty wee nyaff.

And, aye, ah ken the joke aboot lobbin semen frae 30 yards.

  The Davie Dodds Award for ugliest player of the tournament
     

Anyway, that's me signin' aff fer a few weeks noo. Ah'll see ye's aw again in August whin the new season kicks aff and Berti's Babes take on Denmark in a wee friendly afore we get doon tae the serious business ay tryin tae qualify fer the 2004 European Championship Finals in Portugal.

Ah wid huvtay say though, there's aboot as much chance ay Scotland winning wur group as there is ay Preston bein' promoted tae the Premiership wi me in charge.

Bugger all.


 

S