International Friendly
Scotland	1	3	Switzerland
Miller

A disgrace. An embarrassment. Not pretty to look at. Unacceptable. Absolutely shocking. Dreadful. A bloody joke.

These are just a few of the words and phrases ah could use tae describe the pathetic wee beanie hat that Tommy Burns wis wearin tae keep his ears warm in the Hampden dugout against the Swiss.

Whit in the name o’ the wee man wis he thinkin aboot?

Ah mean, it’s nae fuckin wonder the Scots boys couldnae concentrate oan playin fitba – they wur too busy pishin thumsels laughin.

Honest tae God, ah’ve seen some comical sights at fitba matches ower the years (Gazza greetin his heart oot in the 1990 World Cup Semi-Final hud me in stitches), but fer sheer “ah cannae believe whit ah’m seein” impact, TB’s hat has tae take the full digestive biscuit.

And McCoist’s wisnae much better neither.

The stark lesson tae be learned here is that we’ll never qualify fer a major championship finals again unless or until we learn that wearin’ tea-cosies oan yer heid and makin yersel look like an arse simply isnae good fer building team spirit and morale.

The players look tae Tommy Burns fer leadership and direction. This is NOT the kind o’ example he should be setting.

Let’s examine the facts. Wur the Swiss coaching team wearin idiotic woolly heid-warmers that even a smurf wid be too embarrassed tae be seen deid in? Naw. Are Switzerland goin tae the World Cup Finals while we bide at hame knittin bloody beanie hats? Aye.

Ah rest ma fuggin case.

As fer the game itself? It wis keech.

No as keech as Tommy Burns fashion sense, admittedly, but keech nevertheless.