International friendly
Norway	0	0	Scotland

It’s no often yer auld pal Paw is lost fer words (the last time wis when Maw Broon caught me standin’ ower a sheep wi’ ma troosers doon), but this is one o’ those rare occasions when ah find it hard tae muster even so much as an insult.

Whit can ye say aboot a nothing – nothing match? Nothing much, that’s whit.

In the land o’ a million Olafs, this wis a game o’ no laffs.

No fitba, no excitement, no goals, no talking points, no nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nada.

Ah suppose there’s a certain degree of appropriateness aboot that though. These are the people that made the expression “Norvege, null points” famous after all.

Indeed, this wis a game remarkable only in that it made the Eurovision Song Contest look exciting. No mean feat.

Still, lookin on the bright side, Scotland looked sound in defence and kept yon baby-faced striker Oily Gooner Soulshare or whitever he’s called quiet, even if we had bugger all tae offer in an attacking sense.

And we did witness the international debut o’ a laddie whae ah personally think is destined tae be a Scotland star, even if he does have a name that sounds more like an English cricketer. Darren Fletcher. He didnae dae that much in the half hour he wis on the pitch, but gie him time, and mark my words. The boy is quality.

Whit else can ah say?

Scotland V Norway affairs are always a bit dreich. Ye have tae go back tae the Battle of Largs in 1263 tae find a decent match between the two sides.

The Norwegians were kent as the Vikings in they days, mind, and had a reputation fer bein’ a good attacking team that played well away fae home, but we gubbed them good and proper and sent them homewards tae think again.

And afore ye ask - naw, ah wisnae the Scotland manager at the time.

Ya cheeky basturds.