| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
Good morning
from me, Dr. Frazier Drain, the host of The Frazier Report,
Scotland's most pompous radio phone-in programme. This
morning the subject is blame. And who's the first caller
on the line? |
| |
|
| Sir David
Steel |
Hello
Doctor, it's me, wee Davie Steel. See, I was head of the
Parliamentary body responsible for overseeing the construction
work on the Scottish Parliament building for five years
during which time the costs spiralled out of control.
Am I to blame? |
| |
|
| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
Dinnae
you fash yerself wee Davie. Of course you're not to blame.
Having responsibility doesn't mean that you have to use
it. |
| |
|
| Barbara
Doig |
Hello
Doctor, it's me, Barbara Doig, the civil servant project
sponsor from the inception of the project. See, I did
some weird things like not tell politicians about cost
overruns and, for as yet untold reasons, re-appointed
the most costly bidder for the contract. Am I to blame?
|
| |
|
| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
Good morning
Barbara. Of course you're not to blame. This was a very
complex project and as a woman we should not have expected
you to cope with it. My advice to you is in future to
leave contract decisions to those parts of a woman's month
where you experience least stress. |
| |
|
| Shagger
McConnell |
Good morning
Doctor, it's me, wee Shagger McConnell. I was Finance
Minister for part of the construction project and First
Minister for most of it. Am I to blame? |
| |
|
| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
Don't
be silly Shagger. As First Minister you have amply demonstrated
that you don't actually do anything. How could you be
to blame when you do nothing? Absurd. Next caller please!
|
| |
|
| Brian
Stewart |
Hello,
Dr Drain, it's me, Brian Stewart, the head of the Scottish
architectural practice which teamed with the Spanish design
team. I know that working with the Spanish was difficult,
but was I in any way to blame? |
| |
|
| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
Don't you worry yourself Mr Stewart. Foreigners are
renowned for being difficult. Just make sure you pick
up your cheque on the way out. You should bring some
security with you because it's an awfully big one.
And now for my special guest this morning, the renowned
spiritual medium, Madame Le Fifi. Madame Le Fifi, who
are you going to be speaking to this morning?
|
| |
|
| Madame
Le Fifi |
Well,
Doctor Drain ........ ooh, oooh, oooh, the voices are
taking over ..... |
| |
|
| Donald
Dewar |
Good morning
Doctor Drain, it's me, big Donnie Dewar. I chose the site
and appointed the architect. Am I to blame? |
| |
|
| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
Oh, Donnie,
Donnie, Donnie. It's very tempting to lay all the blame
on the dead. But in this instance, you're not to blame
either. Next caller please. |
| |
|
| Eric Miralles |
Buenos
días Doctor, for it is me, Eric Miralles, the Catalan
architect responsbile for the design. Am I to blame? |
| |
|
| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
Ah, Senor Miralles. As a dead foreigner and a genius,
how could we blame you? No, you're not to blame.
And thank you to Madame Le Fifi for that very useful
guest slot. Now we have one last caller and it's .......
|
| |
|
| Bill Armstrong |
It's me,
Bill Armstrong. I was the Project Manager for 13 months
in the initial stages of the project. I resigned because
it was so obviously going to be a disaster. In my resignation
letter I clearly stated that the project was out of control.
|
| |
|
| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
Ah, Mr
Armstrong. I've been waiting for you. I know you didn't
choose the site, the architect or have anything to do
with the project for most of its building life. But because
you are retired and not very powerful or influential,
you are the weakest target. Therefore it's all your fault. |
| |
|
| Dr. Frazier
Drain |
And sadly, that's the end of the show for today. And
the moral of the show was that it's always the wee guy
that gets the kicking.
Stay well and tune in tomorrow.
|
