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  News Archive 2002
 
  News Archive 2000
   

 

Senior Officers from the invading Scottish National Heritage (SNH) force today claimed that they had captured Osama Pin Cushion, the leader of the Scottish Hedgehog International Terrorist Executive (SHITE).

Photofit picture of Osama Pin Cushion captured by SNH
Photo of the real Osama Pin Cushion released by SHITE

In a statement, SNH announced that Osama Pin Cushion was administered a lethal injection of buckfast and methadone and had passed away into eternal hibernation this afternoon. He would be buried in a shoe box at the bottom of a garden.

SNH announced that they had met little resistance from the hedgehogs and expected the operation to last no more than a couple of days. They denied the accusation that the lethal injections administered to captured hedgehogs amounted to biological warfare.

A SHITE spikesperson contacted FirstFoot denying SNH's claims. The Spikesperson said that Osama was a master of disguise and that the hedgehog executed by SNH was simply one of many similar hedgehogs currently at large on North Uist.

The spikesperson promised FirstFoot that Osama would appear in a television broadcast on the Official Uist Community Hedgehog (OUCH) channel in the next 48 hours.

In a separate and unrelated incident, 36 members of the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) protesting against the cull and acting as independent observers, were accidentally administered fatal doses of the injection intended for the hedgehogs.

SNH denied responsibility for the tragedy and suggested that a rogue hedgehog had been to blame. SNH said that the ALF activists would also be buried at the bottom of a garden.

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