With the Scottish people still united in their grief for the departure of Jim Wallace from his post of Deputy First Minister, the remorseless and ruthless wheels of Scottish politics grind on.

Jim Wallace was widely acknowledged as one of the least charismatic politicians of his generation. His lack of ability was widely admired by a Scottish population increasingly desperate for something to laugh about.

In his place steps the youthful Nicol Stephen. The fresh faced Mr Stephen is a solicitor by trade and has that rare commodity in the Parly, commercial experience. He was once a Director of a company called Glassbox Ltd. The company is no longer trading. That may point to relevant experience that he can bring to an institution that does not appear to be doing very well either.

One of his first ruthless acts as a dynamic rapier thrusting ex-lawyer and commercial dynamo of defunct companies was to remorselessly reshuffle his front bench team.

The new Scottish Executive looks like this:

Executive Office	New Minister	Old Minister
Heid Bummer	Jack McConnell
Deputy Heid Bummer	Nicol Stephen	Jim Wallace
Minister without Portfolio	Agnes McConnell
Minister without a clue	Tommy McConnell
Minister for Hedgehogs	John Stephen	John Wallace
Minister for Wallpaper	Senga Stephen	Senga Wallace
Minister for Navel Fluff	Euphemia Stephen	Euphemia Wallace
Minister for Paper Clips	Henry McConnell
Minister for Trees	Wendy McConnell
Minister for Space	Tony McConnell
Minister for Mouse Mats	George McConnell
Minister for PMT	Tom McConnell
Minister for ESP	Gordon McConnell
Minister for TCP/IP	Peter McConnell
Minister for HRT	Iain McConnell
Minister for VHF	Donald McConnell
Minister for DVD	Archie Stephen	Archie Wallace
Minister for the Internet	Davie Stephen	Davie Wallace
Minister for Shortbread	Hugh Stephen	Hugh Wallace
Minister for Lightbulbs	Hector Stephen	Hector Wallace
Minister for Shoe Laces	Farquar Stephen	Farquar Wallace
Minister for Cats	Simon Stephen	Simon Wallace
Minister for Trout	Seamus Stephen	Seamus Wallace
Minister for Glass	Tarquin Stephen	Tarquin Wallace
Minister for Hobbits	Crichton Stephen	Crichton Wallace
Minister for Elves	Bill Stephen	Bill Wallace
Minister for Baked Beans	Helen Stephen	Helen Wallace
Minister for Ministers	Angus McConnell
Minister for Taxis	Senga McConnell
Minister for Cars	Alex McConnell
Minister for Buses	Eck McConnell
Minister for Asparagus	Shona Stephen	Shona Wallace
Minister for Astrology	Jock Stephen	Jock Wallace
Minister for Camping	William Stephen	William Wallace
Minister for Caravans	Euan Stephen	Euan Wallace
Minister for Trains	Fraser McConnell
Minister for Bikes	Angus McConnell
Minister for Roller Blades	Hamish McConnell
Minister for Mountains	Fiona McConnell
Minister for Lochs	Donald McConnell
Minister for Glens	Ramsay McConnell
Minister for Arran	Helen McConnell
Minister for Skye	Ewan McConnell
Minister for Mice	Alan McConnell
Minister for Brothels	Rev Tom McConnell
Minister for Football	Alex McConnell
Minister for Kilts	Ian McConnell	Ian McConnell
Minister for Cheese	Carol McConnell	Carol McConnell
Minister for Sewers	Ken McConnell	Ken McConnell
Minister for Pencils	Ellen McConnell	Ellen McConnell
Minister for Toenails	Effie McConnell	Effie McConnell
Minister for Clocks	Snodgrass McConnell	Snodgrass McConnell
Minister for Dentists	Hunter McConnell	Hunter McConnell
Minister for Bribes	Brian McConnell	Brian McConnell
Minister for Summer	Tarquin McConnell	Tarquin McConnell
Minister for Winter	Hector McConnell	Hector McConnell
Minister for Spring	Euphemia McConnell	Euphemia McConnell
Minister for Rain	Agnes McConnell	Agnes McConnell
Minister for Canoes	Robert McConnell	Robert McConnell
Minister for Socks	Jo McConnell	Jo McConnell