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A scene of uproar and consternation
not seen since it was discovered that someone had shit in the
Queen's handbag.
That was the reaction to the news that
Colin McEachran, a mature and respected advocate, had appeared
in a Scottish court without a wig.
Apparently, McEachran's intention had
been to set a precedent and thereby bring about a relaxation of
the anachronistic dress codes so loved by the Scottish legal profession.
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After
all, we don't want our senior legal people looking silly.
Do we?
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Aye, that would be right. Instead,
he was swiftly called up in front of his seniors and, after six
of the best, reappeared with horsehair once again adorning his
cranium.
The Fatuity of Advocates subsequently
released an instruction to all advocates, a copy of which has
come into the possession of FirstFoot:
"There has
been a most unfortunate lapse in decorum and civilised taste.
A member of our profession appeared in court without a wig."
"It cannot
be over-emphasised that the purpose of the dress code adhered
to by members of the Scottish legal profession is to separate
us from the lower orders and to remind the poorly educated oiks
that we help send to gaol, that we are their betters and their
masters."
"By adopting
a common dress code with the lower orders, we would merely be
sending a signal to them that they could aspire to a position
similar to us. We do not want members of the lower classes within
our profession. It is for this reason that we choose members from
public schools as our leaders. "
"Similar breaches
of dress etiquette will be treated with the utmost severity and
penalties, including withdrawal of the annual invitation to the
Queen's party at Holyrood Palace, will apply."
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