He failed to get an interview as head coach of the rugby club and claims that the reason he failed is that Scottish rugby is institutionally bigoted and racist.

We don't want rugby taught by a nation who settle arguments with bombs

This should come as no surprise to his pal Pat McShamrock who was recently turned down as head coach of Old Buggerians, the Edinburgh public school rugby club.

The explanation given to Mr. McShamrock by Old Buggerians club President Nigel Farquhar-Fatwallet was that all Irish people are as thick as pig shit, drink like fish, are inherently untrustworthy and generally settle their arguments with guns and bombs made of agricultural fertiliser.

Therefore it should come as no surprise to Mr. McShamrock & Co. that good, upstanding, white, Anglo-Saxon Protestant, middle-class professionals should want to have fuck all to do with them.

Farquhar-Fatwallet defended the club's position by pointing to the Equal Opportunities Employment policy that the club adheres to.

"Anyone, and I mean anyone, can join this club. We are just about to offer a position to an Asian chap as Senior Lavatory Attendant and have in the past employed Philipino fillies as masseuse. And just last week, we had a collection in the bar for Blackies who don't believe in God and capitalism".

When asked by FirstFoot how many people with a disability Old Buggerians either employed or educated, Farquhar-Fatwallet referred us to Warm Words and Prevarication, their PR Consultants.

A subsequent statement from Warm Words and Prevarication read:

"If Old Buggerians could find a sponsor who would fund a sanitarium far enough away from our school for normal people, then we would be only too pleased to offer places to subnormal people and foreigners".