So, Chunghwa Picture Tubes follow the same path as Hyundai. Promising thousands of highly-skilled jobs in advanced electronics and getting the Scottish Executive to open their wallets and pour scores of millions of pounds into grants and transport infrastructure projects.

Then, when the going got tough, both companies closed their doors leaving enormous empty factories as their legacy. This is despite Chunghwa Telecom announcing that its net profit surged 30 percent in the first three quarters of this year to $1.1 billion.

Michael Forsyth - the best looking, most caring, most popular Scottish Secretary ever in the entire history of Scotland (Have you been taking acid again? ...Ed)

Sure, there are residual jobs. Someone has to take care of these mothballed plants.

Of the 3,200 jobs promised by the then Scottish Secretary, Michael Forsyth, when he described Chunghwa as the ""largest inward investment in the UK's history", a massive 40 workers will be employed on a care and maintenance basis.

A Scottish Office spokesman released the following statement from the First Minister.

Using diplomatically coded wording that signifies Ministerial anger, the statements reads:

"See thae bastard bloody wee Taiwanese shites. They're just taking the piss and I, as First Minister, am not going to stand for it.

I am going to teach these bloody foreigners that they can't mess around with me and therefore, from midnight tonight, the following drastic and severe measures come into force:

Err, that's it."

The Scottish Executive said that there had been good news coming out of the bad. They had received an enquiry from McDonalds, who were interested in a small part of the site for a new restaurant which might provide an extra 30 highly-skilled part-time jobs.