Mad Donna practices for the post-nuptials

"Mad Donna" MacGlumph, the WBDB & CA (World Brain Death Boxing & Crime Association), and Wee Tam Thebam, the promising inside left currently playing for Third Division Saint Minging, today got hitched at Partick Cross Registry Office.

In the fine tradition of these things, there was tight security. All guests were searched for guns, knives and any illicit drugs which were confiscated and later shared equally at the post nuptials party.

Photographic rights were sold to KO magazine against fierce bidding from rival publication "Hello there Hen". World serialisation included, it is believed that sums exceeding twenty pounds sterling are involved.

Mad Donna was dressed exclusively by Adidas and Nike, with three stripe trousers in a tasteful purple. Controversially, Mad Donna zipped the side flare up and tied her Nike shoe laces. It is believed that she had promised her mother that the occasion would be in the best possible taste.

Wee Tam was hindered somewhat by the stookie (plaster for his broken leg). Amidst the guests was Machete, the Fourth Lanark player allegedly responsible for Thebams injury. Somewhat mysteriously, Machete was involved in "an incident" in which he fell down fourteen flights of stairs and suffered multiple injuries which will sideline him until the 2008 season.

The reception was held at the Sarry Heid (Saracens Head). Guests were invited to partake of a sumptuous buffet of Scotch Pies, Stovies, Irn Bru and a fight in the car park later.

It is believed that the couple honeymooned at the Travellers Lodge on the M8.