As if Scotland's fledgling Parliamentarians didn't have enough serious matters to resolve after 300 years of inactivity, a simmering row, sparked off by an Edinburgh pensioner's letters to several Scottish MP's, now seems set to boil over into a major constitutional issue.

The FirstFoot guide to acceptable Saltire colours Yer takin the piss ya wee nyaff Yer takin the piss ya wee poof Away an' bile yer heid ya bampot Acceptable, but far too many rinses in Omo Getting closer but a little too "New Town" Nup, yer missin the point. Read the story ya numpty. Now we're talking I see your back to takin' the piss Never mind takin' the piss .... yer pissed Never mind pissed, yer obvously blootered .. Or, on drugs Can we have some ?

The debate revolves around the "official" colour of Scotland's flag, the Saltire.

In the "Sky Blue" corner, we have West Edinburgh MP Donald Gorrie (and the pensioner, of course) who is backing a campaign for sky blue to become the official, standardised colour.

And in the "Any old Blue" corner, we have Scottish Secretary Dr.John Reid, whose unequivocal ruling is that "There is no one correct shade of blue for the Saltire. Any blue is acceptable."

The final say on such matters rests squarely in the hands of Westminster.

Even the Lord Lyon, protector of Scottish heraldry, has no jurisdiction here.

Dr.John has therefore spoken and decreed. Any old Blue it is.

Mr.Gorrie is insistent, however, that the Scottish Parliament should nevertheless discuss the "Saltire question" and issue its Own guidance and ruling in a bid to "end the confusion".

What a lot of bollocks.

FirstFoot has researched the matter thoroughly and we can now issue the following findings which, in the absence of any statute, are as conclusive as any dossier Mr.Gorrie might wish to waste Scottish Parliament's time with.

The origins of the Saltire are attributed to King Fergus mac Angus who, prior to the battle of Athelstaneford in 832, dreamed that St.Andrew appeared before him and promised him victory against vastly superior Saxon forces.

Legend has it that when he awoke, a white cloud formation in the shape of St.Andrew's cross appeared against a clear blue sky above the battlefield, and Angus swore that if he won the battle then St.Andrew would forever be adopted as Scotland's patron saint.

Angus triumphed and the rest, as they say, is history.

Sky blue it must surely be then. But wait. Let's not be too hasty here.

Some accounts insist that the cloud formation was seen on the evening before the battle, against the background of a night sky. And, regardless of that, it is more than likely that if the vision was indeed witnessed pre-battle it would certainly have been against a pre-dawn sky given that soldiers rarely got much of a lie-in in those days.

Dark blue it is then.

As worn by our national football and rugby teams.

FirstFoot has spoken and decreed.

And besides, it's much more macho than wimpy sky-blue.

*Footnote: The College of Arms, which is as close as you will find to being the definitive authority on this subject, supports the seemingly indecisive ruling of the Scottish Secretary, and states that there are no fixed shades for heraldic colours and that if the colour is described as "Azure" (That's posh for "Blue") then it is up to the artist to decide on the shade they consider most appropriate, so long as it remains undoubtedly blue.

If King Angus had simply specified a Pantone reference, all this fuss could so easily have been avoided.