Prime Minister Tory Bliar today lashed out at what he described as “the politics of ignorance” surrounding his handling of the War on Terror.

He strenuously denied that the outbreak of World War Two was “in any way, shape or form connected to the invasion of Poland by Germany”.

“Look,” he said patronisingly to an audience of four year olds at a pre-school kindergarten in Edinburgh, “what you have to understand is that these fanatics would have gone to war with Germany regardless of whether Hitler had invaded Poland. The whole Poland thing is just a smokescreen. The fanatics and extremists were just using it as an excuse. And quite frankly, to suggest otherwise is simply naïve. It’s a bit like saying that America only entered the Second World War because Japan bombed Pearl Harbour.”

The assassination of Franz Ferdinand

Fielding questions from the audience and warming to his theme, the Prime Minister also laughed off the suggestion made by four year old Bobby McPhee from Dalkeith that the First World War had been sparked by the assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand in Sarajevo.

“That’s just ridiculous” he said smugly.

“Let me put it this way. If I punch you really hard in the face, does that give you any excuse to complain or hit me back? Of course it doesn’t.”

With that, Mr Bliar punched the small boy hard in the face and left the building.

A spokesman for the Prime Minister later accused the youngster of “deliberately trying to stir things up” and informed reporters that his status as a British Citizen was currently under review by the Home Office pending possible deportation to the Isle of Wight under new “Incitement to disagree with the Government” legislation currently being rushed through.

“The rules have changed” he said. “The people of Britain are fed up with this kind of freedom of speech nonsense and we’re no longer prepared to tolerate it. Goodness knows how many other young minds this boy has poisoned with his warped views.”

The Prime Minister’s spokesman also denied that there was any direct connection between the young lad’s broken nose and the punch which Mr Bliar had thrown.

“I don’t think there’s any clear evidence to back that theory up. The simple fact of the matter is that the boy’s nose would almost certainly have looked for an excuse to be broken irrespective of the Prime Minister’s fist being present at the time.”

Opposition leader Michael Coward later criticised the Prime Minister’s actions, saying, “I would’ve kicked the insolent little shit instead”.