Lord Byron

Lord Byron

Shagger and Poet - 1788 - 1824

Byron is as Scottish as many modern football players, possibly more so. The fact that he was born with a club foot may give him an edge over the current crop of "professional" player.

Byron's mother was Scottish - a Gordon of Gight no less. The boy Byron grew up and was educated in Aberdeen until the age of 11.

Thereafter he wiz shunted off to one of the big snotty English boarding schools of the time which probably explains of a lot about his subsequent behaviour.

In 1812, at the age of 24, by which time he had already accrued an impressive sexual track record, this hedonistic heart-throb famously homed in on petite Lady Caroline Lamb, wife of Lord Melbourne. "Skewered Lamb-kebab" was soon a regular on Byron's menu and they were the talk of fashionable London society.

For a detailed account of their kinky-doings, watch the movie "Lady Caroline Lamb", starring Sarah Miles. Lady Caroline Kebab described Byron as being "mad, bad and dangerous to know". No shit !

After a few months, she got the heave-ho. She tried to win him back by sending love letters decorated with her "short and curlies" cuttings. He was not impressed. (FirstFoot isn't surprised having tried the same thing with Michelle Pfeifer. Waste of time and it left a bald bit !).

Byrons' life seems to be a succession of exotic shags from thereon in:

Lady Frances Wedderburn Webster English society crumpet
Mrs Leigh His half-sister
Anna Isabella Milbanke Who he married for a while until, within a year the young Mrs Byron was demanding a separation, on the grounds that he was a complete bampot.
Claire Isabella Milbanke Sister of the above
Countess Teresa Gamba Wife of an Italian noble

And so on and so forth. Writing here, bonking there.

In Italy, as a "Romantic" hero he dressed up like a fortune-teller. Gypsy headscarves, flouncy baggy shirts, wide sashes, baggy pantaloons and cute little boots were all the rage. Long carelessS curls and little twirly mussies too.

On the continent, safe from close scrutiny, he did wondrous things like swimming oceans and freeing entire countries. At least, in the English version he did. In the FirstFoot version he is an over celebrated upper class twit who we are insanely jealous of.

He died young, but probably happy. Oh, and by the way, wrote some impenetrable poetry while he wiz at it.

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