Wee Neil Reid - redefining the meaning of keech

Wee Neil should have had his 15 minutes of fame winning "Opportunity Knocks" on TV with Hughie Green.

Unfortunately for the viewing public however, the pluke-covered wee nyaff enjoyed several more than his allocated minutes, climaxing with his appearance on "Top of the Pops" singing what was, in more ways than one, a No.2 song.

"Mother of Mine" was one of the largest doses of sentimental tripe ever forced down the Nation's gagging throats, its unlikely success made possible one can only assume by a huge support amongst the same doting Mums who no doubt voted for him on Opportunity Knocks.

Neil's opportunity came and went faster than you can stick three fingers down your throat, and only 3 months after, his follow-up single "That's what I want to be" peaked at No.45 in the charts before sliding, like the laddie himself into deserved obscurity.

Mums can be such a fickle audience.