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FirstFoot
says no to any more precocious, gobby, wee, nyaff,
pre-pubescents from embarrassing Scotland
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FirstFoot received a heartwarming plea
from a fan who runs a Lena Zavaroni tribute site, to include
her heroine in our Great Scots section.
Ever happy to oblige …………..
However, the Bad Scottish Pop, rather than the Great Scots
section, is the place in the Scottish firmament where Zavaroni
surely resides .
Whilst the Zavaroni story is one of
personal tragedy, into which FirstFoot has no intention of
treading, there is also another dimension to the life and
times of the Rothesay screecher.
Zavaroni was a child star. A big voice
in a wee frame. At the age of 10 she rocketed to fame via
"Opportunity Knocks", which she won for five consecutive
weeks. She subsequently released a bloody awful single which
went top 10 in the UK charts and went on to make some truly
shite light entertainment for the BBC.
But it is the hidden damage that she
and did to the Scottish economy that is incalculable.
The consequence of fleeting childhood
stardom was catastrophic for Scotland:
In the 1970's, a whole generation of
Grannies from outside of Scotland thought of Scotland as a
country full of "cute" kids, singing wonderfully,
and dancing, and smiling and being terribly, terribly precocious.
As a result, the Great British Granny poured into Scotland
by the busload looking for twee holidays.
As fast as the Grannies came, the younger
tourists stayed away. "I'm not going up there where all
those bloody kids sing that shite" was a common refrain
in the early 70's.
The effect on the Scottish tourist industry
can be seen clearly in the graph below.
FirstFoot calls on the Scottish Parliament
to enact a law banning precocious, gobby, wee, nyaff, pre-pubescents
from embarrassing Scotland by singing on any form of medium
which is publicly broadcast. Ever.
Scottish tourism needs that kind of
far-sighted thinking.
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